Watch Out, We Are Engineers

[Picture Courtesy: Hindustan Times]

An engineering student jumped into a tigers' enclosure in a Gwalior zoo this Monday. Taking off his shirt, he then entertained a pair of tigers with a private dance. This youth has been identified as a representative of a million other engineers like him who are in a constant need to remind everyone they inhabit a world outside of Is-this-Mohr's Circle-nonsense-in-the-syllabus. To many others, this might be seen as either a desperate attempt at seeking attention, or a random act of buffoonery. But we engineers know this is but just another manifestation of our keen sense of adventure that we carefully nourish over a period of four years - unless you are given seemingly polite monikers like ATKT ka Raja, in which case years cease to be anything more than a mere integer.
Contrary to popular belief, daredevilry comes easy to the common engineer. This is more commonly known in engineering parlance as "Enter the canteen." Let's get real. It was no miracle that our friend escaped unscathed after spending close to forty minutes before those tigers, apparently called Luv and Kush. This is what had really transpired after the engineer accosted them:

Tiger Luv - "Hey look, chunky food is here. *slurp*"
[The beasts advance towards an unsuspecting engineer]
Tiger Kush - "Wait. Why do I smell watery spinach?"
Tiger Luv - "He must be an engineer. I have heard tales of their canteens. Umm, not hungry any more."
Tiger Kush - "Ditto. Much ado about nothing, hmmpf. Let's just watch him dance...oh, no!"

Of course, facing two tigers is a formidable prospect. But then our engineering friend has been through more. VIVAS, for example. You can pronounce it the way you like, but this word never sounds pleasant. What happens inside a VIVA hall doesn't feel any better either. Imagine lining up in groups of three, anxiously awaiting your turn to get exposed as the chap who landed this course only because, well, "Papa told me." To make matters worse, every group will ask the preceding group "Hey, what were you asked?" only to find out that the professor would never repeat his questions. And God forbid, if you are one of those Smart Alecs who hummed their way through all lab sessions, because, "Hehe, group work," you have so had it when a surprise announcement in the finals states that every student will perform his experiment individually. As our professor once said, "Lab work is team work. It is not some pooja that one person will hold the pooja thali and the others will just touch his elbow."

The engineer doesn't have it easy outside the college premises either. For a new challenge is lurking somewhere round the corner. We call it SOCIALIZING. Consider this: the poor fellow is sitting at home during a study break. The parents have to attend a social do. The engineer contemplates an evening all to himself - some quality "me" time before his laptop. News suddenly pours in that the hosts have learnt the engineer exists and that the parents must totally bring him along. Dragged to the dinner with an assurance that "We just have to eat and come back, beta", he is now strolling around the party lawns, probably examining the lights and wondering what diodes lie behind them. Other guests accost him, prodding him to make conversation.

"So, nice party, eh?"
"Meh."
"So what are your hobbies?"
"I am an engineer. My hobbies are writing tutorials, online chatting and..."
"Come, let's get some dinner."

If the conversation is with a girl, the conversation begins and ends somewhere around "Hi I am an engineer baby are you receiving the signals being sent from the transducer of my heart."

Everyone went about asking what happened to the engineer finally inside that enclosure? It is absurd that nobody bothered finding out what happened to those tigers after spending forty minutes with him. Rumour has it the engineer had not slept in four days. With the overwhelming burden of an entire society on his shoulders, it was gracious of the engineer to afford them a little dance. My message is to the tigers: when you are met with an opportunity as rare as this, sit back and behave yourselves. You are lucky to have got an audience. You are not going to see him again until the next semester.